


Delicious

by thaliaarche



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Crack, Dirty Talk, Eavesdropping, Humor, Implied Smut, Multi, adult!ciel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4936963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaliaarche/pseuds/thaliaarche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few years down the road, Sebastian and Ciel have developed a cozier relationship with the Shinigami Dispatch Society, and Grell sometimes swings by the manor to visit her favorite demon. When William follows her one day, he ends up overhearing more than he bargained for . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delicious

**Author's Note:**

> This is not my typical writing fare, but here goes . . .

“Why are you here?”

“I just told you, I’m bored! And if you don’t let me in, I’ll break all the glass in the mansion with my gorgeous soprano scream . . .”

“Ugh, very well. We have guests today, and even I may have some slight difficulty repairing our one-hundred-and-seventy-eight windows in time.”

Behind one of the trees still standing on the Phantomhive Estate after Finnian’s latest attempt at gardening, William T. Spears squinted and adjusted his glasses, wondering whether he really just saw Grell Sutcliff, his subordinate, be yanked inside the Manor by the elbow. By a certain Sebastian Michaelis.

Shaking his head, William whisked out a divination spell and telepathically tied one end to Grell, tacking it on just before the door closes. Normally, such an invasion of another reaper’s privacy would have been forbidden by protocol, but Grell gave up that protection the moment she entered a demon’s company. Really, someone needed to tell that Phantomhive boy how loose his butler’s leash had become.

Muttering about overtime, William tuned the spell, and sounds from within the manor gradually became clear to his ears . . .

\---

“Stop whining,” said Sebastian. “It’ll be good for you to sharpen your skills— though, as I recall, you had none in the first place.”

“So you do remember all the fun we had!” Grell exclaimed with her swooping, suggestive voice.

“I remember my master’s aunt attempting to stab him.”

“Like I said, fun.”

“I suppose so,” Sebastian gave a velvety chuckle. “But as I told you, Master Sutcliff, I’ve got a full schedule today, and I don’t intend to fall behind just because of your unexpected visit.”

“So much work? Then you definitely need my brand of fun, Sebas-chan. I’m sure I could lend you a helping hand.”

“Just this, and then you’ll leave?”

“If you can bring yourself to let me go.”

“That is unlikely to be an issue.”

“You’d be surprised, darling, how very _accomplished_ I am,” Grell purred, audibly licking her lips. “Back when I was with Madame Red, I was simply pretending to be an incompetent butler.”

“I’m sure the pretense came easily to you.”

“Why, I’m a first-rate actress, darling! Anyway, Madame Red was mostly satisfied with my service, but I’m sure I can do much better today, for you.”

“I have my doubts.”

“Oh, I’ll serve you even better than you serve Ciel.”

“Really?” Sebastian snorted. “In that case, you must follow my instructions quite carefully. If this is what you want, here. Take this.”

“It’s so big, Sebastian! Really, you offer that brat _much_ more than he deserves . . .”

“Use a rhythm that’s neither too slow nor too swift. Do it carefully, but deliberately . . .”

“And with fire-red passion!”

“Whatever you say.”

“Oh, tell me that you don’t throw yourself into your duties with the same heat and zeal I do . . .”

“I prefer to remain composed and professional.”

“Ah, now I remember— you’re playing the cold, silent type. Ooh, I love this so much! We’re a study in contrasts, you and I . . .”

“Please, now, won’t you focus? No proper butler would be so careless. Of course, lest I appear a hypocrite, I must attend to my own tasks . . .”

There was silence for a few moments, save the sound of a steady, pounding beat, then a metallic creaking.

“Oh, darling,” Grell shrieked. “It’s so hot!”

“Indeed, but as a demon and a reaper, we’ve both braved much worse.”

“Mmm . . . Now, that’s straight-up iron, isn’t it?”

“You are correct, as much as it pains me to admit it. No, don’t taste that yet . . .”

“But it’s so yummy,” Grell interrupted. “Oh, Sebas-chan, you really are a miracle!”

“It is also painfully incomplete. Do cease the commentary and finish what you’ve started, and try not to get your germs everywhere in the process.”

“What’s that that just materialized in your hand?”

“Oil. The finest quality, naturally.”

“Nothing but the best for the young master, hm?”

“Of course. Now, please keep at what you’re doing for just a moment, while I pour out enough grease . . .”

“The oil keeps it sliding smoothly, yes?”

“Surely that is obvious. Really, I wonder if you’ve got any accomplishments at all.”

“Oh, you have no idea, darling . . .”

“Creamed too fast, Grell!” Sebastian suddenly hissed.

“Oh! Is it really a problem?” Grell groaned, her disappointment sounding quite genuine.

“Disastrous. Not at all up to my standards.”

“Oh,” Grell paused. “Well, then, we’ll have to start all over again, won’t we?”

“‘We’? I warned you to take your time, and you clearly disobeyed . . .”

“But now I can spend even more time with you!”

“I’d like you out of this house immediately. Honestly, even _Ciel_ would prove less inept than you. Come on, let it go now. . .”

There was a loud crash.

“Now look what you’ve done! Spilled everywhere . . .” Sebastian continued muttering. “Such a sticky mess, and I’ll have to clean it up, no doubt . . .”

“Don’t be such a fussbudget! I’ll help clean . . .”

“No, thank you. Do you realize this is the _second_ time you’ve ruined my uniform?”

“You’re starting to remind me of William. Cruel and nasty, just for the fun of it!”

“And you’re reminding me of Ciel— awkward and useless!”

“HEY!” The door crashed open, as Ciel and William sprinted into the kitchen simultaneously.

The four stared at each other. Ciel and William were panting, strands of divination magic tangled around each of their ears. They gazed at Sebastian and Grell, who were both covered in white goo and . . . flour. There was a massive cake, still steaming from the oven, now cooling in its pan on a counter. A metal mixing bowl lay on the ground, tipped sideways, still full of whatever batter hadn’t been tracked along their aprons and shoes.

“Young master!” Sebastian recovered himself first, hastily straightening his uniform and cleaning up the batter in the blink of an eye. “I do apologize for not announcing our Shinigami guest, but I was hoping to expel this visitor quietly, without any disturbance. He agreed to go immediately after we finished this . . .”

“Cake?” William intoned in disbelief.

“Yes, Will. I needed a break from paperwork, so I came down to help Sebas-chan with his baking duties. It’s going to be a multi-layered cake, actually; the bottom tier’s cooling over there, and I am making the second tier. Or at least I was until I mixed the batter too quickly . . .” Grell looked at Ciel and William’s stunned faces and frowned. “What did you think was happening?”

“While we were serving my master’s gluttony,” Sebastian said, a predatory smile spreading across his face, “I think they suspected of us of another sin entirely.”

Ciel and William sputtered, instantly blushing.

“No . . . No!” Grell began to shriek with laughter. “Is this jealousy on your faces?”

“Ha! Never in a million years . . .”

“Longer, if he lives longer . . . ”

“Why in the world would I be jealous . . .”

“I have no interest in Sebastian. Or I have interest in his capabilities, you see. Capabilities for murder and espionage, I mean. Not for anything so twisted as what he’s suggesting . . .”

“I can safely say I have no interest of any kind in Grell . . .”

“And yet you have both flushed redder than Master Sutcliff’s hair,” Sebastian smirked. “Really, now, you’ve all overstayed your welcome. Please leave the kitchen, and allow me to continue my work in peace.”

They complied, and the reapers showed themselves out, bickering about the technical definition of “fussbudget” all the while.

\---

Ciel returned to the study, where he pored over reports on the Funtom company, scrunching up his forehead in a failed effort to concentrate. There was a knock on the door.

“Young master,” Sebastian entered the room. “I do apologize for the clamor this morning. But it was rather revealing, was it not?”

“Revealing?” Ciel glanced up, eyes wide.

“Fear not, young master,” Sebastian grinned. “I’ve cooked up something especially _delicious_ for you.”

The door slammed shut.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, you should look at my other stuff! If you hated this, you should definitely look at [my other stuff](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thaliaarche/works), because it’s not like this at all!
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated.
> 
> Edited to add: You can also find me at [thaliaarche.tumblr.com](https://thaliaarche.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
